tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8872146559118935939.post6545153806237245852..comments2024-03-13T17:00:57.265+05:30Comments on By All Means Necessary: Balbir-Michael Marriage: A Possible Beginning of a New Chapter in Indian Social HistoryJohnyMLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05854530824953334475noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8872146559118935939.post-43939585397682312192014-07-17T12:01:54.388+05:302014-07-17T12:01:54.388+05:30Dear Johnny,
Balbir and I hadn’t any idea we’d fi...Dear Johnny,<br /><br />Balbir and I hadn’t any idea we’d find ourselves on your blog. You hit the nail squarely on the head in lots of what you wrote, so thanks Johnny. We feel most honored.<br /><br />We read your description of our leading lives of quiet dignity with particular interest. If we in fact do that, it’s partly by design, and partly because it’s our default setting. We don’t flaunt (yikes, that word!), but neither are we very private people. If we find it hard to contain ourselves on Facebook, it’s because we want to share “out” to friends and family that we are indeed happy, first. Second, while we don’t pretend to be role-models for anyone (transnational gay marriage?), we do want to send folks out there a message with our belief that happiness can be constructed, that dignity can be won, whether or not society sanctions you or not, and that we are living proof that life can get better. Not only did Balbir have the odds stacked against him. My own personal life was a mess. <br /><br />We believe that just being who we are openly, be it in our real or virtual worlds, is in many ways an act of rebellion. We don’t run with the fashion crowd because we don’t fit in (we like museums more!), but we do hit the streets and raise our voices with our angry sisters and brothers when politics and society slap hard enough. We’re also at the pride marches to celebrate all that is good that we have. We believe fervently in the righteousness of our cause, and in many other causes as well. Our commitment to social justice doesn’t begin and end with sexual orientation issues. <br /><br />We’d like to think that societies, no matter where, progress naturally toward offering greater individual liberty, but that’s clearly not happening in much of the world. We don’t take our freedom anywhere for granted. Even our gains in the US over the last decade seem tenuous to us at times.<br /><br />India? We live freely here, but we’re not innocent of the peril in living openly in society, and that we do so to the extent that authorities tolerate. We understand that it’s homosexual activity, not identity, that is criminalized in the country - harmful enough, but how many local police offers understand, or care much about legal nuance? <br /><br />We know that our marriage is not recognized here, but what we don’t yet know is whether being married elsewhere breaks any laws. This is probably all new legal ground, which we’re not interested in testing. We didn’t think that we’d be asked questions at the airport on arrival a few weeks ago, but we were bracing for the possibility; after all, Balbir has a fiancé visa containing my name in his passport. Still, we get to live mostly how we want, and we’re grateful, every day, that we live in India instead of Saudi Arabia. If a worst case scenario is that we get booted out of the country, we still get to keep our heads.<br /><br />We appreciate your optimism that India’s heading in the right direction, and we want to share in it. If there’s anything we have done to move society forward, we are truly grateful for having had that chance. If there’s anything more we can do, we hope folks will let us know. We care deeply about the India, not only our place in it. <br /><br />R/<br />MikeAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13203007298390885272noreply@blogger.com