We- Living Evidences to Prove our Parents’ Desire to Articulate

There is a moment between the word and the act of writing. The word is there and your ability to key it in on your computer page is there. But yet something stands between these two; the desire to postpone the act. For a writer there is a perennial desire to postpone the act of writing and see how the minute hiatus between the word and the very act of writing changes its breath, length and width. It could be directly or indirectly proportional to the desire for postponing. When the gap decreases, nothing could prevent you from writing it down. Then you are in love with the word.

May be others hate your love for words; your love for writing. It is like a love affair. None likes to see a happy couple being happy and oblivious in their love. Their abundance and abandonment imparts a certain kind of discomfort to us. They threaten our ideas about love. They in their relationship and its flaunting of happiness inscribe a different idea about love. They appear before us as word and meaning. And the narrowing gap between them facilitates them to write it at the very face of nature. They say they are in love.

Writers are like jealousy onlookers of a loving couple. They keep looking at the lovers, the word and the meaning, coming close and drifting apart. When they drift apart they feel the joy of postponement. When they come too close almost in a collision by tenderness, the writers cannot just escape. They just need to sit down and write.

Recently, a friend told me that I should stop writing for coming ten years. I told him that if he could give me a lot of money, which I would use for buying all those things that could keep me distracted from looking at the romantic union between word and meaning, perhaps I could consider his suggestion. Then, I also told him that there was no guarantee that I would stop writing altogether even if he transferred the desired amount in my bank account. A bank account cannot stop a nuclear reactor. Fission or fusion of atoms is not bothered about the health of a monetary account.

That’s why when another friend called me a few days back and told me that he had fallen in love with idea of love. And he told me that he has been keeping himself out of all confusions that the very thought of falling in love could bring to one’s life. And suddenly he started getting bored of such a clean, arranged life that would soon send him mentally deranged. So he started looking at things around him with a different perspective. He told me that he looked at a coffee mug with lot of love and things changed for him since that moment.

Word and meaning, coffee mug and passion and anything that could be paired up and seen in a new perspective would give rise to a new way of loving things. Word and meaning are like Shiva and Parvati- like father and mother. Their relationship is romantic, tumultuous and passionate. They are in love that’s why we are. We are the living evidences to prove that our parents had a good time some time ago. We were not brought to the world by some pelicans and cranes. Parents tell a lot of lies till they realize that their kids are making love like bunnies in their pads up there. Then what they could do is just like prisoners, keep an account of their games, on the wall by drawings vertical lines crossed by a diagonal one.

So friends, fall in love with whatever you could in the world. See meaning oozing out of the objects of your desire and filling you in with a sensation of fulfillment and pain at the same time. Then you postpone your desire to articulate and then you will realize that how difficult it is to keep yourself away from your love: the words.