Friends come to meet me; generally I meet them after four in
the evening. First half of the day is spent in translation, writing and
answering emails. I believe in building anything brick by brick. There was a
time when I thought of doing everything in one go. Age has taught me how to do
things slowly but intensely. Now, when I see the growing archives at Musui Art
Foundation at Chattarpur where I spend my mornings I feel happy. When KSR
invited me to activate the first floor of his wonderful studio by doing
whatever I wanted, in 2011, I was really happy. I had just started a public
debate with the Kochi-Muziris Biennale, taking the side of the people who
opposed its style of functioning. I was fast losing friends and supporters. The
loyal ones remained loyal but the number of enemies was steadily increasing. It
was November and the winter was severe. After posting comments in the facebook,
sitting in a corner of the studio all alone, I used to shiver; not for fear of
some impending danger but for the immensity of responsibility that the debate
has brought on to my shoulders. I had received friends here and foes were
always hovering around with their invisible presence.
When KSR invited me to the space, he had also made a series
of shelves all along the walls. The first thing I wanted to do was to create an
archives; an archives which could be used by many like me who in their
formative years had no support system in terms of a reference library. But the
question before me was, how to create an archives? KSR had already placed a few
books he had collected over a period of time in the studio. It was then I
decided to part with my collection of books for creating the Musui Archives.
Musui, as you know, is the sculptural protagonist of KSR. I started taking
books in twos and threes. Even today I continue doing it. The archive looks
very impressive now. When I started bringing books, the short cut between Qutub
Metro station and Chattarpur Pahari where Musui Foundation is located was a
narrow strip. Today cars ply there. I have seen the change and I still walk the
same route every morning, obviously with a few books in my bag to add to the
growing archives. I believe in building anything brick by brick.
Recently I had a very interesting experience. A young man
whom I know not that closely updated his facebook status something like this: I
have 3000 books and magazines. I want to part with it. If someone interested
please contact.’ I sent him a private message saying that I was interested. I
am not a kabadi walah. I do not want to collect anything that people discard
even if those are books. I want to collect books that would enrich the Musui
Foundation Archives. Hence, my private message told him that I was interested
but before I collected anything from him I wanted to have a look at his
collection. On a Sunday morning I called him, took an appointment for the same
afternoon, and drove all the way to the locality where he lived. I could not
locate the house. I kept calling him over phone and I found it switched off. I
used all the possible ways to reach out to him, even contacting his former
classmates, but in vain. I was furious. I let him know about my ire through his
friends. He never contacted me again. I think he was having a hallucination
about his book ‘collection.’
When people offer me books, I check whether they do it as a
part of their spring cleaning or they are genuinely interested to part with
their collection. If they want to make space for themselves by doing away with
their ‘useless’ books I politely decline their offer. A Mumbai gallerist
offered me some books of which I selected one or two because I found the rest
of it constituted the books that she did not want. But I have friends who
genuinely give me books. During the boom years, people like Geetika Goel, who
is currently an independent art dealer, used to procure books and gift me
whenever I made a request. So is Anubhav Nath, Director of Ojas Art Gallery,
New Delhi. If I ask for books he brings it from wherever he is. I don’t know
whether I could mention the name of a person or not. She belongs to one of the
biggest galleries in Delhi. I have never talked to her in person. I communicate
with her over emails. But if I ask her for a book, even if it is very costly,
she sends it to me. I thank her with all my heart. I am sure one day, with her
permission I would be able to reveal her identity.
I am sure if your intention is genuine, as KSR puts it, if ‘intention
and image’ gel, then things will work out. I am sure, one day Musui Foundation
Archives will be one of the best archives in this country. But I am also sure
that it does not happen overnight. I believe in doing things brick by brick.
Clear vision and right action is what all you want. I learnt this lesson from
KSR. He does everything clearly and meticulously. The biggest lesson in my life
was given to me by KSR; when I was down in the dumps and was about to leave the
field of art criticism almost twelve years before, he told me one simple thing:
If you dig too many wells in the same place you may not find water. Keep digging till you find water. Even if you do not find water, by the end of it, you
would be enjoying the whole process of digging in the same place. The second
lesson is a bit financial. Whenever I had gone through financial troubles, he
told me, ‘look, I can give you any amount of money that you ask. But finding
that money with your own effort is what would eventually give you dignity and
freedom. Remember, I am there, but pretend that I am not there.’ I was young
and I took his words into my heart. I do not owe a single paise to anyone. I
had not, I did not, I do not and I will not because I belong to the KSR School of thinking. Shakespeare and Sanskrit
had taught me the same lesson way back in college. But those were not as effective as the KSR
Speak.
May be my idea of building anything brick by brick also
comes from him. I am happy about it.
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