Dear Chintan,
How are you? I have been remembering you off late quite
often. In my home state, Kerala, a famous actor was arrested last month and was
sent in remand to jail for allegedly conspiring the abduction of an actress
around six months ago. I am nobody to say whether he is a culprit or not,
exactly the way I have not been able to say whether you had involved in
something that I do not want even to name. As we all know what it is all about
let me proceed without making it obvious and let me ask you once again, how are
you?
There is a reason why I write this mail to you, which
perhaps only your closest friends would see and I would be happy if you come to
know about the existence of such a letter in the public domain. I have always
been keen to know about your days in incarceration though after the initial
spate of anecdotes they got completely dried up in due course of time. Recently
I came to know that you were given art materials so that you could make
paintings and also could conduct workshop for the mates there. Even the jail
warden spoke to the press expressing his intention to auction your works. I am
really happy if you are doing paintings in there and I am sure it would keep
you out of any kind of depression.
The immediate provocation to write you this mail, as you
know, is nothing but my urge to ‘write’. Almost ten years back when I started my
blog and was pretty much prolific in the output, you apparently commented that
‘blogging’ had become a part of Johny ML’s morning ablutions. Yes, it remains to
be so even though the prolific nature of my writing has now mellowed a bit and
I write after much deliberation. The other day I was reading ‘Waiting for the
Mahatma’ by R.K.Narayan. It tells the story of an innocent enthusiast, Sriram
becoming a nationalist (not the kind that we see these days) by coming into
contact with Gandhiji through Sriram’s love interest, Bharti. Led by love, not
really by nationalist feelings, Sriram does one act of bravery after another
against the British police and finally he gets incarcerated indefinitely. As I
was reading the prison part, I just thought of you, in fact I thought of you
only.
True, you are not a nationalist of the contemporary
complexion. The last act of defiance that you did against the contemporary
nationalists was all about supporting a young artist who had made a ‘cow
balloon’ in the Jaipur Art Summit of 2015. You went to the police station,
almost courting arrest for the ‘freedom of expression’ and it is ironical that
you had to surrender your freedom for an allegation that remains unproved. I
feel a sense of injustice happening to him even when I say that if you had done
it, you deserve punishment. But something tells me from the core of my heart
that you wouldn’t do it. Hatching a long term plan to eliminate somebody
wouldn’t have occurred to you that easily and you wouldn’t have plotted so
intricately to get a job done neatly.
As far as I know you, you have been a slow schemer. During
the days of familial troubles that only a few people knew to the worst details,
you held your court literally moving to Delhi and starting a life afresh. You
travelled and did some interesting performances, site specific art
installations and so on. I could see them only in the social media because by
that time you had been surrounded by a different kind of crowd in Delhi and
elsewhere to which I found myself absolutely a misfit. Moreover as you know I
too was going through what you were going through then. Unlike me you enjoyed
fame and all what came with it. By that time I had become a Gandhian ready to
detach from all what I thought was mine. So somehow my weaning away from the
familiar(l) world was smoother than expected but you had a few things to
settle. That is always the problem that gets attached with material
possessions.
You know why I believe you wouldn’t have schemed such an
atrocious act because as much as I know you remained a small town boy, pure at
heart despite all your effort to equate yourself with the Bollywood
celebrities. I could always see that insecure small town boy struggling with
language, personality and creativity in you. What surprised me was the way you
could manage to hide that insecurity. Perhaps a few cards that assures materialistic
security, a slowly recognizable face, the brazenness with which you pushed your
art practice, the contacts, the overt and covert deals with art dealers and
collectors, the newspaper articles about you, contact with powerful people, the
media glare that you unapologetically enjoyed and all could help you in
overcoming your insecurities. Confidence is something that comes either with
talent or with money. Getting these two combined is a virtue; you had the
former and you gained the latter and smartly combined them together.
Why I believe that you wouldn’t do such a crime is because
the small town boy in you always went back to the village you came from.
Partapur was the place; a small village in Rajasthan. You had your family
routes therefore you could start Sandharbh there. In a few years time you could
make it stand on its own and could claim a space in the international residency
circuit. You could literally identify and promote a few talents using that
platform. You did not stop there. You went ahead and started a living museum in
an abandoned village building. It was perhaps a very novel concept in India and
perhaps it remains inimitable even today. Instead of gunning for rural tourism,
you kept it within the idea of art experimentations. Had it been for touristic
pleasure you could have started it in Jaipur itself. But you did not do that.
When you did Tetua Daba Do (Strangle Her), you chose to do it in Jaipur because
you wanted the authorities to take note. Perhaps, you were the first male
artist to deal with the issue of rampant female foeticide in India in general
and in Rajasthan in particular. You promoted the idea of ‘piracy’ by
highlighting the copy left movement. When I see some invitation cards with a
line ‘copyright with the gallery’ I think about you who tried to liberate ideas
in zones of no copyrights. Also you were a pioneer in funding one of the first
cinematic take on social media, ‘Kya Tum Ho’ directed by Aneesh Ahluwalia. But
along the way you had collected deadwoods too; on a second thought I believe
all of us commit that folly not because we are indiscreet but we are too caring
to land a kick.
Dear friend, my mind says this you would come out soon and
once you come out you will be a changed man. When you come out, you would have
learnt the lessons of detachment. You would not attach any value to what you
are doing today or done earlier or would do hence. But you would do your work.
Whether you read Bhagavad Gita there or not, if you have contemplated enough in
those lonely moments you would have learned the greatest lessons in life. I am
sure your second beginning is from Sandharbh. Life is not a Bollywood movie
where you could come out and prove your materialist worth once again. You have
been travelling the world in search of fame. Tomorrow, when you are out from
there, dear friend the world would come to you in the village provided you have
detached from all what you thought worthwhile.
I can see the universe conspiring with all its elements to
get you out. When, I don’t know but I could say it is soon. How, I do not know
because I am no oracle. But I feel, feel deeply that a person like you need not
be inside for long for whatever reason. So be cheerful. Keep yourself out of
depression. Ask for a copy of Talks on Gita by Vinoba Bhave. Read that every
day. By the time you finish reading it twice, you will be out in the free
world.
Your Friend,
JohnyML / Aksharananda
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