Onam used to drive people out of their homes. That was long
back. Today it drives people inside the homes as there are more delicacies
served by the television channels. Silence pervades the streets and the lonely
street lights let sodium sighs into the air. I walk along the corridor of
stillness. On either side I see gates remaining closed, not letting an inch of
the outside world in. The moonlit night appears just above the balcony waiting
for the maiden of the home to open the windows and witness the fullness of
today’s special moon. But nobody opens the window panes. Television sets beam
the programs of unintelligence rendering a few generations of people into passive
consumers of dumbness. Chimneys filter the dark sorrows of women and send out
bluish curls of smoke that carry the souls that crave for redemption that never
comes. Laziness burps from a sofa. A black cat crosses my path.
I do not stop. I follow the cat stealthily. Across the road
it has just drawn a line of bad omen. I want to know where the line would end.
As the cat has appeared from nowhere, the origin of that ill omen should be
somewhere there in that darkness. The cat is just a willing tracer of that
line. I see it jumping over a broken wall and entering a dilapidated house
which has been lying abandoned there for ages. May be all ill omens start from
darkness and end up in abandoned houses. Drunkards balance themselves on these
lines of ill omens and reach the old house where I am told that someone runs an
illegal liquor business. Bad luck keeps the drunken men straight on this line.
They hold the invisible pole with both the hands and walk safely into the hands
of self annihilation. However, I should say that the drunkards in my village
are the best entertainers. They appear before you exactly the way the cats
appear from nowhere and demand money. Sometimes you oblige because you cannot
forget those good old days when they were your classmates.
Memories make a tunnel and it is all slippery with the slush
of things that you would like to forget. So you hold the brass railings polished
with the chemical of alertness. The walls of the tunnels are full of pictures
and graffiti. It looks like a museum which displays both the modern and
contemporary works of art. The pictures and sculptures are properly lit. You
tend to stand before them and contemplate. As you look on the stories around it
roll out. You just want to run away from there as you know that you yourself
had created those pictures and sculptures and you yourself had written their
history. They reek with the smell of ancientness and most of its histories are
filled with anecdotes of tears, blood, loneliness and cunningness. Perhaps, you
are still ready to look in between the pictures and see the framed darkness and
those are the spaces that you really try hard to ‘remember’. Why there are so
many glaring gaps? Suddenly you realize that those are the gaps that are still
with you, helping you pass through the tunnel. You have a dark light and you
see your past well with that darkness and your present is all slippery and your
future….yes there is always the other end to every tunnel which has light. But
here you have an end which has opens into another tunnel made of a rainbow.
As I emerge from the tunnel, I see the lamp posts growing
branches and marigold flowers blooming from every inch of those branches. The street
is now filled with the fragrance of a thousand flowers. Thin silvery threads
run everywhere and you wade through a sea of petals, removing the shining
threads carefully. You stop at a threshold. And you see hundreds of people
waiting at the either side of the threshold waiting for something to happen. A
transparent veil hangs from the door frames and in the gentle breeze it moves.
People wait on their winged horses, golden turtles, huge lady bugs, blue
giraffes, green camels and crimson elephants. A thunderous noise is heard from
somewhere. Everyone waiting rejoices at the noise. They all become alert. A
huge procession passes in front of your eyes. A never ending carnival of light,
sound and speed; it has languages, fashions, smells, manners and styles from
different worlds in a lighting display. A carnival that looked never ending
suddenly ends leaving a heavy silence behind. The curtain goes up automatically
and the people waiting there on their ethereal animals cross the threshold and
disappear. A thousand shiny red spot dangle in the air and move fast and
disappear.
I also cross the threshold. Three is a sand path across it.
Once upon a time there was a sea and angry master who taught us history drank
the sea and it became a sand bed. Under the moonlight the sands sparkle. I see
a lot of patterns there. Innumerable beings have walked on it and what I see
are the foot prints. Here is the foot prints of a lion, here, of a camel, there
those of a cat and horse, here a monkey’s paws, here is the trail of a
butterfly that tested its walking feet, this is a mark left by a grasshopper,
here is the trail of a the earthworms. Look, here you see the foot prints of a
widow, there those of a martyr; can you see the hoof prints of arrogance and
aren’t they the marks of disobedience. Here you may see the shadow of a spirit’s
feet, and there you could see the feather prints of angels. Look there, isn’t it
the shadow of a sword? There, that of a bomb. What is that mushroom out there?
And can you see the foot prints of the refugees, still wet? This is the mark of
a father who has just received his son’s dead body. Here is the foot print of a
son who has just seen his father hanged by the state. At the far end of this
sand path, do you see the foot prints of silence that has just received a
bullet in its chest? Right there, let’s go and sit for some time. A moon up
there, a few boulders here, at the cliff you and me and a raging sea down. Hold
my hand, let us walk into that benevolent smile.
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